The human eye for error!

People criticize with the speed of light and appreciate with that of a turtle!

There’s nothing more enticing than the endeavour of criticism. It’s an Art that people perform skillfully and effortlessly. To praise someone, on the other hand, is a Herculean task!

People, if you ask them, would be able to write an entire book (in volumes!) noting down the faults and errors of others, whereas might struggle at constructing a meaningful sentence of appreciation.

This fancy for critique stems from a combination of cognitive bias, superiority complex and societal conditioning.

Let’s poke our nose into the matter!

1. Negative bias: it is our evolutionary wiring to quickly detect threat and remember negative stimuli for survival.

Back then, ignoring positive cues wouldn’t get you killed but ignoring negative ones would. Literally!

 

• The illusion of superiority: pointing out flaws in others often gives one a fleeting (and fake) boost of ego and status.
• Societal conditioning: in a society where fault-finding is practised and reinforced frequently, individuals get conditioned to carryover the behavior.

Thus, it feels like second nature to condemn but vulnerable to praise.

People may forget the 99 acts of kindness you did for them, but one moment of error and BAM! You are a villain.

 

Now that we understand the gravitational pull behind CRITICISM, the question arises: How can we strike a balance and build a Culture of Appreciation?

• Start small. Normalize praises with petite, pretty compliments.
• Should you feel inauthentic or fear flattery, tie praise to result. Highlight the difference that it made (eg: your fine research cut the work-time to half).
• It is always better to compliment about specific details (the shade of dress or smell of perfume, the language of presentation or the research used).
• Make acknowledgement a part of the system: include recognition rituals in meetings, at dinner table and in your prayers.
• Try using softer words when correcting someone. Replace “this is horrible” with “this can be improved”.

The drive for fault-finding might take forever to pass. What we can and should work on is building a Culture of Appreciation. A fertile environment where recognition can thrive!